Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Spread the Word

I'm back and I've got some BIG news. Bigger than this word right HERE. And that word is pretty big. Just looked at it's hugeness. Admire it. Worship it. Lick it. No, wait, don't! DON'T LICK YOUR COMPUTER! 

You people always take things so literally.

Moving on.

So, my loveable little unicorns whom i love so much, because you are, you know, loveable. Recently (recently meaning about 10 minutes ago) a friend and I started a new political party that focuses on a minority group that gets little recognition in todays world. This new and enlightening party is non-biased in believes in equality between humans....and mannequins alike. Yes, i said Mannequins. No, you don't need to go back and reread that sentence because i will retype it right here. This new and enlightening party is non-biased and believes in equality between humans.... Mannequins. To learn more about this inspirational party, simply go to and watch a new world unfold as you look at todays issues through fresh eyes. The eyes of Mannequins. Read all about Proposition 9, Mannequins have the right to marry too. Join our support group by following the blog and leaving insightful comments. Come, share your opinions, and wonder what the heck my friend and I were smoking when we started this party. It's all apart of expanding your world view and improving your life....

Woo!!!!!!! O, and one thing i have to say before continuing this post. What i'm about to say is completely confidential: No one outside my select group of Loveable Unicorns must ever read this sentence:


I repeat


I know, i know, i'm  a month late. Better late than ever, I always say! Well, actually, i never say that, because it's sorta stupid. I can think of a lot of things i would rather never happen, late or otherwise. Like an invasion of rogue Beaver-like creatures. I think we could all do without that. Especially trees. Trees would be very upset if there was a sudden invasion of Beaver-like creatures.

Just saying.

I know it's been a month since i last posted. I 've been a bad, bad blogger. Very bad. If it weren't for my friend and mine's new political party and blog, I don't know when i would have come back. I've just been busy, ya know? Summer starts and suddenly BAM, KABLAST, KABOOM, PLATYPUS! (by the way, did you know the plural of platypus is platypi? now that's a weird flavor of pie. Get it? Platypi? PlatyPIE? Get it now? No? My clever word play is wasted on you people. ) There's just so much to go out there and do that I just resent the idea of sitting still long enough to type a simple email, let alone the thoughtful, insightful, profound, and serious blog that you all deserve to read. HEHE,, serious. that's a good one! 

Quick relay of my summer: California, skim boarding, hot guys, boogie boarding, hot guys, delicious pastries, hot guys, more delicious pastries, the occasional hot guy, lots of walking, having to walk down 120 stairs (i counted) any time i wanted to go outside of my hotel room, hot guys, stairs, yet another delicious pastry, stairs, 12 hour drive home, no hot guys, no stairs, no delicious pastries, home, epic water fight, bowling, one hot guy, hurt my knee doing a wicked awesome bowling move ( I bowl better when i'm acting like an idiot than when i actually try to do well) arcade, gave plastic fish to sad little boy (don't ask) Arts Festival, hot guys (hot as in HOT!!! it was 105 degrees) delicious smoothie, creepy old guy follows me and my friend around, we throw roasted almonds at him, friends family opens Italian Restruant, delicious food, friend of owners daughter so i get FREE delicious food.

and then yesterday. 

Went bowling and to an arcade with my friend (there was a lack of hot guys, pastries, and stairs.) We then went to the mall where i bumped into another friend (hi James!) we stood in front of a clothing store and talked about awkward topics and got many weird looks from passerby. Typical teenaged conversation. 

And then....the Mannequins. 

There were three of them. They were all dressed sorta...... errogenously, (ChipotleChick nerd speak, as my sister calls it when i use words more than 3 syllables long, for slutty) so we named them. One was Iris, the toe-dancer that taps, the other was Lucy, the Slut, and the last was Veronica the Not-Quite-As-Slutty-As-Lucy. Creative, no? We then got onto the subject of Proposition 9. MANNEQUINS HAVE THE RIGHT TO MARRY TOO! 

And so started the inspiration for the Mannequin Political Party. 

Anyways, our little group made our way down to Sears. We were standing in the women's shoe department (i've not idea how we got there) when Jame's little cousin accidently knocked down a couple of shelves of shoes. A young Dude who worked there came over to help us pick them up. This was the conversation that ensued:

ME: Thanks for helping! Now we should buy something to make up for that. Or he could just have my caramel apple.

JAMES: *holds out water bottle* ummm....want some water?

LEXIE: Why not just give him a lock of your hair?

WORKING DUDE: Ummm....I don't want anything *laughs because he's a good sport*

ME: We should tell him about Proposition 9.

JAMES, LEXIE, ME: Proposition 9, Mannequins have the right to Marry too!

LEXIE: Join our support group!

WORKING DUDE: *laughs* uhhh....

ME: I think we should go now, to someplace where.....nobody can recognize us...

*we all run out of store*

Ya.....I think we made that guys day! Group  of random teenagers asking for a pair of strappy high-heeled shoes in a size-15 mens and then knocking stuff over and offering him random items in payment for helping us. One thing's for sure.

He's got a great story to tell in therapy.

Thank you, my dear unicorns, for paying my neglected a blog a visit! I promise to post at least once a week from now on. I will definately go pay all of your blogs a visit tomorow, since right now i've got to make caramel apples for my uncles retirement after-party. (he doesn't have teeth, so how he's going to eat a caramel apple is a mystery to me, but i just do what my grandma tells me)

In reward for being beautiful, i give you all a virtual caramel apple 

*caramel apples for everyone!*


smorgan said...

Wow. When you said mannequins, the first thing that came into my head was the CSI New York episode about, well you know, mannequins and how are they treated like, well, human beings...
In my opinion, mannequins except for the fact that they are not alive.
So yes I'll support your political party evnthough I claim myself to be an anarchist...oxymoron eh..


p.s.: If there was a pie called PlatyPie, I would love to try it...
Maybe this summer you should open a store selling PlatyPies!!! And put mannequins in the display!!! So mannequins can not only get married, they could also start a buisness!! That's like killing two birds in one stone..

natalie said...


Your summer sounds like its been extremely busy and completely amazing so far! :D Lots of hot guys is definitely a plus. And I think they should definitely start serving this platypie, and right next to it on the menu and be octopie! Hardyharhar...

Bahahhahahah! The whole mall experience sounds completely hilarious. That salesguy was probably very very confused by the end of that little conversation ;D I've always wondered if mannequins really did come to life at night. That'd be weird. Speaking of mannequins, my favorite band is called Jack's Mannequin. I bet Jack's mannequin would love to join your political party hahaha :D

Have a fantasmagorical week!

Rafé said...

Yay! They're delicious!

Well, truth be said, I had an internal conflict over whether I would enjoy such post (since it was so long), but then I remember the humor...and oh, the humor got me...then I read it and the humor got me once more.

But I'm glad your still alive. I thought you had died a second time...

anyways, I live in Cali...

Lily said...

long time no hear, i know. but i kinda quit blogging and moved on2 Face book. do u have 1?

Patz said...

Hi! Remember my blog? I changed its title from "Life Memoirs" to "A Skeleton in the Cupboard". You commented on my post about

I love your blog! Can I follow your blog? :D Drop by in mine and you can leave comments. God bless :D

Lily-Pagan said...

haha your randomness is always a pleasure to read! your posts really make my day! :)

BitterSweet said...

Yay!! You're back!!! You really should post more often.

Danny (Danielle) said...

Mannequins should have the right to vote as well, because I don't think they enjoy wearing such slutastic attire. I do enjoy caramel apples though. very much

I have to go spit out my gum now.

Sweet Strawberries said...

i agree with smorgan, open a store called Platypies!
and i think I will join your support group just for the sake of proposition 9- mannequins have the right to marry too. Sorry about the bad capitalization and grammar stuff.

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