He's not dead, he's electroenephalographically challenged

Did you know an electroenephalographer is a device used to detect brain waves? Really. You would think they would set a law that states no word may be more than 5 syllables long! I mean, really, what is the point of big words when they are just small words that nobody understands? Like nugatory. You know what nugatory means? it means the same thing as picayune, trivial, or freaking UNIMPORTANT! Which is easier to say/remember? Honestly, their are over 50,000 words in the English language, but think about it. Counting all of those ridiculously humongo jumbo words that nobody can pronounce, you realize that their aren't enough definitions to go around!

Anyways! Like i said, (and yes, i WILL repeat myself. Take that stupid 4th grade English teacher who said redundancy would always make my papers 2nd best!) a lot has happened between now and 6 lifetimes ago. There is way tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 much to put into one post, just like their is way tooooo many o's in my tooooo's. Hehe. I figure the best way to condense 7 lifetimes of stories into one easily read post is by making like condensed soup and squeezing them all into a can and adding a gallon of salt. Since i don't have a gallon of salt at hand (left it in my other pants, silly me) I think i'll will split them up into several posts. It took me all night to come up with that solution. I think it's genius. Yes, that's right, admire the genius-ness. (yes, i just created a new word, take that Oxford Dictionary) 

First off, I'm a very clumsy person. We've already covered this, i know, but i feel since clutziness is such an important part of my life, it deserves to be relived. I fall. A lot. I run into things. A lot. I break things (sometimes people). A lot. Knowing this about me, in the two months i didn't post, i attained SIX new scars (one for every lifetime!) I will now tell you some of the stories as to how i got them.

*curtains pull back from stage*

*Stage lights turn on (Awww my retinas!)*

*The audience falls into a hush (Would you morons shut up?!)*

*dramatic tension fills the room(Look! an electoenephalographically challenged fly!)*

Here we go.

First scar: Nearly got ran over by a car while on my bike. While the car was immobile.*car, headlights, AWWW! swerve, Crash, scar* Ok, so the car was still like, 30 feet away. It doesn't hurt to be too careful! I did yell at the car, cause yelling at things that can't understand you is fun and great brain stimulus. The scar i got runs from my ankle to mid calf. AWESOME!

Second Scar: Ice skating. Clumsy. Sharp skates. Ankle. 'nuff said.

Third Scar: Easter Sunday, hiding eggs for little cousins. Look, clever hiding space! I'll just stick it here and BANG! O look, there's a little tree. And the little tree gave me three little scars on my poor little Shoulder! How cute.

That's enough scar stories and enough typing. I've been typing since I got home from school. Stupid Geography. Why o why do places have to be, you know, in PLACES? Just like all those people who went out an made history. I bet they wouldn't have been so keen to change the world if they knew it would only be more work for us future students. How shelfish!

So that's it for now, my beautiful little Unicorns. I have to go watch American Idol. GO ADAM YOU SEXY BEAST!!

I mean, may the best singer win!

Got a scar story? feel free to post it. I need to know i'm not the only terribly uncoordinated person in the world. CLUMSY PEOPLE UNITE!

Let me know i'm not alone.

Comment. 

Please.

It's dark in here.

O, maybe i should take off my sunglasses.

That's better.

COMMENT!

Love you. 

Bye

Hehe

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkk!!!

*note: Please say title in creepriest Freddy vs. Jason voice to get full affect*

Ya, that's right, feel free to applaud! and when i say feel free to applaud, i really mean APPLAUD NOW IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FUZZY SLIPPERS AGAIN! I'm back and am (hopefully) here to stay! Was that an exasperated sigh i heard? Ya, that's right, it better have been a sneeze.

And now, for the moment you have all been waiting for and most definately deserve...The INCREDIBLY LONG-WINDED AND THOUGHTFUL YET OVERALL LAME APOLOGY! are you ready? really? ya sure? I'm not. You know why? Cause, I'm about to get carpal tunnel from having to type the apology my beautiful unicorns deserve! Here it goes...right....NOW! Ha gotcha!!! Wasn't that just so....infuriating! hahahahahahahahahahah....Ow! ok, ok, no need to get testy.

I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been gone for, like 2 months, which in blogging time is like 650,235 years. Basic math. the first month i actually have a valid excuse. I had to give up something important to me, something i couldn't live without, for the 40 days of Lent. I was going to give up o' Sacred chocolate, but seeing as how that's necessary for my survival, i decided to give up blogging! I would have warned my beautiful unicorns, but i decided the day it started and couldn't. The second month? Well...I sorta maybe kinda forgot my password to get onto my blog and i sorta kinda maybe didn't think to write it down.....hehe. uhh...so i had to do that "reset password" thingy and then it wouldn't show up on my email and i didn't want to contact my "local email provider", so i sorta gave up. Then a miracle happened. I REMEBERED MY PASSWORD! Thanks to a sequence of events that involved Open Mic Night at my school and several chinchillas, (i am NOT kidding) my memory was jogged!

And now, the brave ChipotleChick, against all odds, has made a triumphant return from her quest to the Place Where No blogging is Allowed For Lent and even the mythical land of My Email Providers Need an IQ Test. Many thought she wouldn't make it, but she rose above the adversary and stands today as a living testament that yes, we can all survive without blogging.

Beautiful, aye?

As i'm sure you have guessed, my dear friends, many things have happened in the time i've been gone. You think I just gave up? that i was hiding under my desk with my dust bunny friends and just waited for the terrible months to pass? Not I! I only did that for 2 weeks. (just so you know, my favorite Dust bunny is Philbert. he's very defensive. Just don't mention his "little Problem" and you'll get along fine)

Sorry to say i'm typing this in school and should probably stop before i get caught, so i will be back tomorrow to type another entry and comment on your charming blogs of joy that i have neglected so heartlessly.

So see you tomorrow! You better come, or i'll sick my dust bunny on you.

Ya, i went there.

Take that.

ha.

Hey Hey Hey! Before we continue with the Adventures of ChipotleChick, i want to tell you all HAPPY SINGLE AWARENESS DAY!!!!!! Yep, that's what we have the loveable unicorn clan call Valentines day, also it's the predominant holliday at the high school i attend. So to all you singles out there, i hope you had a great day pampering yourself with movies, soap opera, chocolate and bubble baths, cause i know i did!

Also, i think Friday the 13th is a much more note-worthy holliday. I went to a Friday the 13th party, where we had a jolly good time doing dares and making prank calls cause that's what annoying immature teenage girls do. Woo!

And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for.........the winning story for this week is..........

This program is brought to you with limited commercial interuption by Ford. Built Ford tough.

and the winner is.....GARDEN PARTY CRASHERS! Here's the story that happened a couple summers back and is a great memory for all involved. It's a long story though, so if you require an intermission, i understand.

Once upon a time there were two girls. one lived in a regular old run of the mill neighborhood located near a 7-eleven cause 7-eleven is so heavenly. the other lived in a higher class neighborhood complete with manicured lawns, 3 story houses, white picket fences and backyard patios perfect for a social gathering, such as a garden party. The beautiful, clever, charming girl that lived in the normal neighborhood was named ChipotleChick, and the other equaly beautiful but not quite as charming girl named Tanya*name changed for privacy* lived in the more pretentious one.

These two gilrs were good friends and enjoyed spending lazy summer afternoons at one anothers' houses. one lovely day they decided to relax under the shady maple tree located in Tanya's backyard. As they were conversing, a pleasant breeze wafted through the tree and blew a leaf into the neighboring house's backyard. Moments later, Tanya's wicked step-neighbor's made-up salon head popped over the fence.

"You girls had better not be too loud out here today, and now wondering around my yard and tromping all over my freshly mown grass!" She snapped at the two astoundingly amazing girls. "I'm having a social gathering, a garden party really, over here on my backyard patio and i will not have it interupted by giggling and gossiping."

The two young girls nodded sheepishly as the concerned neighbor returned to her side of the fence and continued readying her yard.

"How rude of her not to invite us!" said Tanya. "I am, after all, her favorite neighbor!"

"Maybe it's a private party for people she works with or her book club or something. It's not like it would be any fun," stated the wonderousr ChipotleChick.

"True," sighed the lovely Tanya.

They continued wondering around Tanya's yard, chatting and laughing, but even the most boisterous laugh was half-hearted. Neither could get the thought of the garden party out of their head. the sounds of the urban equivelant of a rave were enticing; the chinking of glasses, loll of small talk, and occasional forced laugh.

"I can't take it!" snapped Tanya. "We cant' just meander along without knowing what the big fuss is!"

"I know what you mean. We have to find a way to get into that pary. I hear the security at these parties is tough though. It will take every ounce of resourcefullness we have to break the ranks of security and blend in with the crowd"

"Got it. First we need clothes. It seems everone over there is wearing either sundresses or khaki shorts. I have a sundress that may fit you."

"Let's go!" yelled ChipotleChick, ready to jump into action and satisfy her curiousity. besides, there was nothing good on T.V, so there really was nothing else to do.

10 minutes later, the two witty, intelligent girls were ready. After checking the status of the party goers, they went around to the gate on their side of the fence, and peered around the corner. Lucky Break. No one was facing the gate. The girls ducked, tumbled, and rolled so efficiently it would have made James Bond green with envy. They straightened up, smoothed the wrinkles in their dresses, and peered around. They gasped in suprise.

The backyard was swarmed with people. some were drinking from tea cups, others' enjoying tasty tidbits. Guests were constantly entering and leaving the house, bringing out heaping plates of food or taking empty ones in. the nonstop motion made it easy to blend in. The girls mingled with the crowd, chatting it up for a solid 30 minutes before SHE spotted them. The wicked step-neighbor started towards the two amazing girls, a scowl that would have made Severus Snape quial in fear clearly etched across her face. ChipotleChick and Tanya made a break for it, scrambling towards the gate. just as they were about to make their escape, SHE caught ChipotleChick by the arm and wheeled her around.

"What on Earth are you two doing here?" she puffed.

"uhhh.....we kicked our ball over your fence. we didn't want to disturb the party, so we thought we'd just make a quick entrance and grab it" stuttered ChipotleChick.

"O really? Is it normal for teenage girls to put on sun dressed before engaging in a game of soccer?"

O.

"Of course! uhhh...we have a ....place to be....in a few minutes....we got tired of waiting for out ride so we decided to kick the ball around for awhile....and uhhhh...Tanya here accidentally kicked it a bit hard."

"right!" Squeaked Tanya. "and our ride is going to be here soon, so if you would kindly let ChipotleChick go, we will be on our way."

"Of course, sweeties. But if i catch you in my yard again, i will call your parents. got it?" she gave ChipotleChick's are one last squeeze before finally relinquishing her grip. the two girls scrambled into Tanya's yard, and collapsed under the maple tree in relief. After the initial shock wore off, they burst out laughing.

"did you see her face!"
"wow she has a strong grip"
"That was hilarious!"
"I thought was going to kill us with that look of hers!"
"I can't breath"
"Woo that was awesome"

after they calmed down, everything returned to normal. and they all lived happily ever after.

Even the wicked-step neighbor, who's party was a success, thanks to the two quirky, happy girls who honored the guests with their presence.

the end.

Hey Hey Hey! Previously, on ChipotleChick's blog, you were asked to choose the story you wanted to hear, you voted, and now the votes are in! The winning story is......*drum roll*..............*dramatic build up*.........*wow that's a lot of build up*...............*look at that drum Roll!*.........And the winner is!!!!!!!

Found out, after these messages!

*commercial interuptions, Ford commercial, zoom zoom, Coke Commercial, Jessica simpson, something about weight loss and health insurance*

And we're back! *drum roll continues* the winner is.....#7!!!! Snow White and Seven Dwarves...why not to how this Movie to 9th graders.

Here's the story...

it all started on a normal day of school. Everyone is enjoying the freezing, bitterly cold day, students are frolicking through the hallways, lunch money being stolen in a most polite manner. Until last period came around and us Animation Students crowd into the projector room to watch an Animated movie so we can discuss the techniques used. All is well, until the Professor walks, thick glasses, lab coat, back humped from carrying the projector all the way from the science room to here. He announces the movie we are going to be watching that day.....SNOW WHITE!!!!! and the seven dwarves. The students gasp in unison, eyes widen in surprise and despair. The projector flashes on, the movie starts rolling. Amidst all the chaos, the following conversation occurs between Dave, Em, Mary, and me.

ME: Woo! Her mom specifically asked for a child with skin as white as snow? Is she racist or something? Seriously, this was made in, like, 1936 or something, right? Sheesh, she should had just joined Hitler to help him create his super race.

DAVE: Dude, why would you want a floating head in your bedroom mirror that can see you? The government could bribe it to spy on you and they could have total control over you life. It could totally ruin your weekend plans.

EM: her step mom reminds me of my mom, do you think that's a bad thing?

DAVE: Her step mom is totally hotter than Snow White! Snow white doesn't even have a nose! Do you think she's albino?

MARY: so she broke into their cottage, cleaned the house, and cooked dinner? How does she know the dwarves aren't Germophobes and go crazy when people touch their stuff? What if they're vegeterians? What if they were saving that soup for a special occasion, like Christmas or a Bar Mitzvah?

ME: Not only that, but she's letting the animals in the house. Think of all the hair. what if the dwarves are allergic to deer? Not to mention all the "presents they would leave."

EM: how's that for the newest trend in crime? Instead of criminals breaking into the house and stealing things, they clean instead!

DAVE: This is so prejudice. The humans are all sexy, and the dwarves all have potatoe noses! And the humans are all royalty and live in castles, but the dwarves just live in a cottage!! This is so pollitically incorrect.

ME: I think it's a metaphor of society. The little man is always ignored.

MARY: Snow White is a such a jerk. First she breaks into their house, rearranges everything, lets animals in, takes three of the dwarves beds, then she doesn't let them eat until they wash their hands! Control freak. it's not her house. She doesn't respect other people's cultures at all.

ME: Besides, look at how much work the animals do. It's definatly animal cruelty!

DAVE: I have one question. The stepmom hates Snow White cause the mirror thinks she's prettier,right? and then she makes a potion to make herself uglier so Snow White doesn't recognize her when she gives her the apple, right? Well, insted of trying to kill Snow White, why doesn't she just make a potion that makes her PRETTIER?

EM: She clearly didn't think this through.

MARY: Besides, what do floating heads in mirrors know? maybe he just prefers stupid, jerky chicks with pasty skin and have never heard of a tanning salon.

ME: And girls, we all know what we do to men who say other girls are prettier than us, right?

DAVE: (nervously) what?

MARY: Let's just say it leads to seven years of bad luck, if you know what i'm saying....


And that's one reason why you shouldn't show Snow White and the Seven Dwarves to 9th graders.

That's all folks!! See ya next time!!!!

*commercials*

*preview* Next time on ChipotleChicks blog, the runner up of the story contest. Keep voting!

This program made possible by: Loveable little unicorns!

Thanks for voting!

Hey Hey Hey!!!! Woo!!! i've got 4 minutes to post as much as i can, are you ready for this? Normally, as you know, i'd do my post in paragraphs and what not, but instead i had a sudden inspiration to day. I'm going to give you a bunch of phrases, titles, and sentences for stories that have happened in my life, and you are going to comment and tell me which one you want my next post to be about! So here's the list of phrases, titles, quotes, sentences and what not that represent an even or story that's happened in my life recently:

1. I'm in the newspaper?!?

2. Let's Dance! O, was that the Sprinkler you just did? Uh, on second though, i'll just go get some punch

3. Garden Pary Crashers

4. "E" is for "Ediot"

5. There's a wall there....and there

6. Hotdogs Vs. Hoagie Sandwhiches: The Perpetual Debate

7. Snow White and Seven Dwarves: 10 reason's why not to show this to your 9th grade class

8. Silence is golden, but remember, money doesn't buy happiness


That's all i can think of in 4 minutes, but monday after next, i will have a new headline entitled:

Beautiful historical building that have inspired the hears of millions....and school supplies

An entire dedicated to lists and stuff. Deep.

Hey Hey Hey! As you can see i've been inconsistant with my blogging. Meaning my blog now has the consistency of peanut butter. Ya, that's right. My blog is ooey gooey yum-ilicious.

Hehe! So, my loveable unicorns, i'm SORRY!!! (insert a 2324355 exclamation points) that's i've been so unreliable in the world of blogging. you must feel so underappreaciated! Because i feel bad for not commented or anything, i dedicate this post to my FAVORITE BLOGGERS!

Macy
This girl is sweet and funny! Read her blog for a quick, light hearted, and fun read!

Danielle
I love this blog! This is one blogger with a thoughful mind and amazing since of humor. Read. OBEY.

Jillian
Woo! I love this girl! not only is her blog interesting and entertaining, she awarded my blog as FABULOUS (thank you, thank you, i'd like to thank my fans) (ooo, more parenthesis!) Her blog is amazing and she is a devoted tagger!

•waLkiиg disasteя•
First off, i can totally relate to this blogger's title. Walking disaster. Love it. Her blog is one of the funnest of fun blogs to read! HAPPY BIRHTDAY! (ya, and it's her birthday, in case you didn't know.)

N a t a l i e.
Woo! I LOVES YOU NATALIE! Not only is Natalie's blog entertaining and you are guaranteed a laugh or two while reading it, her commetns are thoughtful and friendly. Definately pay her a visit!

Lily-Pagan
I have only barely discovered this blog, what caught my attention was her unique name! This girl is as unique and cool as her name and her blog reflects that. Go Girly!

aivilo relluf
This girl is informed, intellegent, and FUNNY! her posts are interesting and opinionated. She's indescribable, just as her blogger profile says.

Katie
Hey Katie! This girl is has a talent for blogging if i ever saw one! (and i'm the Simon Cal of Blogger talent search. You're through to Hollywood Katie!) her posts are lenghty and entertaining to read. She's clearly a smart girl and funny girl, you need only to read her blog to figure that out!

not emo just misunderstood
First, you gotta love the name. This blogger's posts are straight forward and an easy read. He certainly has a sense of humor and a unique view of the world to match!

James
hey James! James is a fun blogger and a great friend. His blog is depressing but thought provoking. Check it out for a truly one of a kind blogging experience and a chance to share your opinions on subjects other blogs may not talk about.

Stella
Stella is a blogging inspiration! This funny, determined, talented girl deserved a golden medal in blogging ettiquette! Her words and thoughts are fresh and thoughtful. Definately check her out! No, she's not a library book, don't actually try to check her out, just go look at her blog! jeez.

Wandering Child
This ambitios girl has three blogs and they are all fab! there's reading corner for those of you who enjoy story blogs, Poor thing for all you Sweeney Todd fans, and All you Need is Love, for a glimpse into her clever and creative mind.

Lenore
Lenore is a thoughtful but hilarious girl, my favorite combination. She's a clever girl and her blog is a great read, probably cause she is such a great person. That's how blogs work you know. beaufil soul=awesome blog! Bad soul=bad blog. simple.

!wonderfold!
I started reading her blog and couldn't stop! This is an intelligent, funny girl who has a bright future ahead of her, even if she doensn't know it yet. she's a regular girl with an extrodinary mind. READ!

Mayaa :)
This splendid blogger is unique and a very entertaining read. I definately recommend the blog of this insightful and funny girl to anyone looking for a swift but fullfilling blog read.
simpleman
This thoughtful man is anything but simple. a talented writer and profound mind, he's one to get ya thinking.

smorgan
Intelligent and witty GIRL!!!!! With a passion for writing, judging by the lengths and qualilty of HER wonderfully FEMININE posts.


so this is my loveable little unicorn flock. Ellie was one of the, but she retired.sigh. o well. i'm fine. ELLIE! COME BACK!!!! I mean, ya, ok. Her choice. ELLIE!!!!!!!!! ugh. Do you wana be a loveable little unicorn? YOu do? then leave me a comment! FLY MY UNICORNS, FLY! And don't try telling me you can't fly, i know you're not pegasus, but what unicorn can't fly? Seriously.

Aslo, i've been tagged. twice. so here's 16 random facts about me, right her, on 30 seconds with ChipotleChick.

1. You know how when some people are bored they watch T.V or read? ya, i raid the fridge and stick whatever i can find into the juicer. Seriously, i've managed to juice some pretty unexpected things. What else am i supposed to do on a rainy day?

2. I love the smell of rain, roses, and Office Max. I wonder how they're related.

3. Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is the longest word i can spell off the top of my head without having to write it out. Why did i dedicate such a useless word to memory? It all started when i lost a game of scrabble.....

4. My favorite people in this world are the ones who will tell you a stupid joke one minute, then give you a 1 hour lecture on why reality is only an illusion the next.

5. I'm currently looking for a cure for stupidity. Any one wana be a subject for my research?

6. Purple is the new black. deal with it.

7. I love reading lists. I have an obsession. I need an intervention for my list addiction.

8. I can't say the "th" sound when it's in the middle of a word, like enthusiastic. I say "ens-sh-x-s-o screw it.'

9. The playlist on my iPod included Mindless Self Indulgence, I am Ghost, Ok Go, Kamelot, Lacuna Coil, Theory of a Dead Man, My Chemical Romance, Puddle of Mudd, and Frank Sinatra. Balance.

10. I would be the best dictator of the world ever. It's true. ask anyone.

11. I own pepper spray that looks like lipstick. I haven't had a chance to use it yet. darn it.

12. The last time i checke d my email i had 165 emails. I was too terrified to answer any of them. That was six months ago. I haven't checked it since. Odds are i have so many my computer would crash if i tried to access them again.

13. The nicest compliment i've ever recieved included the words "hot sauce" and "Lemur." No. i am not joking. It was really nice and it just stuck with me.

14. I think wallpaper smells like beige. If beige had a smell, it would smell like wallpaper.

15. My favorite kind of acting is improv.

16. I could write a drama novel about the adventures of Spanish Class. It would blow everyone's minds and knock Stephenie Meyer off the bestseller's list.

Well that's enough about me! What about you? Anything new? Really? He ate all that? She did what? O my, how scandalous! You're life astounds me.

Ok, i'm done, and tired (stupid mono) excuse me as i go pass out.

Blog ya later! (when i'm not half dead.)

Ok, there is supposed to be a pic here that says "your blog is fabulous" but i'm having technical difficulties. Just imagine that it's here, huge with a big arrow and flashing neon lights. just use your imagination.



That's right, you heard it. My blog is FABULOUS!!! Just like David Bowie's hair. O ya, my blog is as good as David Bowie's hairs, or at least the beautiful N a t a l i e. thinks so! Thanks Natalie for nominating my blog! Both me and her, or him, or it, or whatever thanks you! I'm sorry about my rude blog. It refused to thank you personally. I don't know why. Guess it just has a major attitude problem. You try to raise them right but there's only so much you can do. You know how it goes. Anyways, i must now nominate 10 people and i nominate ABSOLUTELY ANYONE WHO READS THIS!

Seriously, if you read this, you're fabulous and I'm sure so is your blog. I love you all and the fact that you visit an unappreciative blog such as my own, shows depht of character and generosity. You are all beautiful and you all deserve an award, so take it and spread the love and the bragging rights!

and since i can't get the pic onto my blog because the tags don't seem to be working very well, just pay a visit to the Asto