Tuesday, May 19, 2009

He's not dead, he's electroenephalographically challenged

Did you know an electroenephalographer is a device used to detect brain waves? Really. You would think they would set a law that states no word may be more than 5 syllables long! I mean, really, what is the point of big words when they are just small words that nobody understands? Like nugatory. You know what nugatory means? it means the same thing as picayune, trivial, or freaking UNIMPORTANT! Which is easier to say/remember? Honestly, their are over 50,000 words in the English language, but think about it. Counting all of those ridiculously humongo jumbo words that nobody can pronounce, you realize that their aren't enough definitions to go around!

Anyways! Like i said, (and yes, i WILL repeat myself. Take that stupid 4th grade English teacher who said redundancy would always make my papers 2nd best!) a lot has happened between now and 6 lifetimes ago. There is way tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
 much to put into one post, just like their is way tooooo many o's in my tooooo's. Hehe. I figure the best way to condense 7 lifetimes of stories into one easily read post is by making like condensed soup and squeezing them all into a can and adding a gallon of salt. Since i don't have a gallon of salt at hand (left it in my other pants, silly me) I think i'll will split them up into several posts. It took me all night to come up with that solution. I think it's genius. Yes, that's right, admire the genius-ness. (yes, i just created a new word, take that Oxford Dictionary) 

First off, I'm a very clumsy person. We've already covered this, i know, but i feel since clutziness is such an important part of my life, it deserves to be relived. I fall. A lot. I run into things. A lot. I break things (sometimes people). A lot. Knowing this about me, in the two months i didn't post, i attained SIX new scars (one for every lifetime!) I will now tell you some of the stories as to how i got them.

*curtains pull back from stage*
*Stage lights turn on (Awww my retinas!)*
*The audience falls into a hush (Would you morons shut up?!)*
*dramatic tension fills the room(Look! an electoenephalographically challenged fly!)*

Here we go.

First scar: Nearly got ran over by a car while on my bike. While the car was immobile.*car, headlights, AWWW! swerve, Crash, scar* Ok, so the car was still like, 30 feet away. It doesn't hurt to be too careful! I did yell at the car, cause yelling at things that can't understand you is fun and great brain stimulus. The scar i got runs from my ankle to mid calf. AWESOME!

Second Scar: Ice skating. Clumsy. Sharp skates. Ankle. 'nuff said.

Third Scar: Easter Sunday, hiding eggs for little cousins. Look, clever hiding space! I'll just stick it here and BANG! O look, there's a little tree. And the little tree gave me three little scars on my poor little Shoulder! How cute.

That's enough scar stories and enough typing. I've been typing since I got home from school. Stupid Geography. Why o why do places have to be, you know, in PLACES? Just like all those people who went out an made history. I bet they wouldn't have been so keen to change the world if they knew it would only be more work for us future students. How shelfish!

So that's it for now, my beautiful little Unicorns. I have to go watch American Idol. GO ADAM YOU SEXY BEAST!!

I mean, may the best singer win!

Got a scar story? feel free to post it. I need to know i'm not the only terribly uncoordinated person in the world. CLUMSY PEOPLE UNITE!

Let me know i'm not alone.



It's dark in here.

O, maybe i should take off my sunglasses.

That's better.


Love you. 



Friday, May 15, 2009

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkk!!!

*note: Please say title in creepriest Freddy vs. Jason voice to get full affect*

Ya, that's right, feel free to applaud! and when i say feel free to applaud, i really mean APPLAUD NOW IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FUZZY SLIPPERS AGAIN! I'm back and am (hopefully) here to stay! Was that an exasperated sigh i heard? Ya, that's right, it better have been a sneeze.

And now, for the moment you have all been waiting for and most definately deserve...The INCREDIBLY LONG-WINDED AND THOUGHTFUL YET OVERALL LAME APOLOGY! are you ready? really? ya sure? I'm not. You know why? Cause, I'm about to get carpal tunnel from having to type the apology my beautiful unicorns deserve! Here it goes...right....NOW! Ha gotcha!!! Wasn't that just so....infuriating! hahahahahahahahahahah....Ow! ok, ok, no need to get testy.

I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been gone for, like 2 months, which in blogging time is like 650,235 years. Basic math. the first month i actually have a valid excuse. I had to give up something important to me, something i couldn't live without, for the 40 days of Lent. I was going to give up o' Sacred chocolate, but seeing as how that's necessary for my survival, i decided to give up blogging! I would have warned my beautiful unicorns, but i decided the day it started and couldn't. The second month? Well...I sorta maybe kinda forgot my password to get onto my blog and i sorta kinda maybe didn't think to write it down.....hehe. uhh...so i had to do that "reset password" thingy and then it wouldn't show up on my email and i didn't want to contact my "local email provider", so i sorta gave up. Then a miracle happened. I REMEBERED MY PASSWORD! Thanks to a sequence of events that involved Open Mic Night at my school and several chinchillas, (i am NOT kidding) my memory was jogged!

And now, the brave ChipotleChick, against all odds, has made a triumphant return from her quest to the Place Where No blogging is Allowed For Lent and even the mythical land of My Email Providers Need an IQ Test. Many thought she wouldn't make it, but she rose above the adversary and stands today as a living testament that yes, we can all survive without blogging.

Beautiful, aye?

As i'm sure you have guessed, my dear friends, many things have happened in the time i've been gone. You think I just gave up? that i was hiding under my desk with my dust bunny friends and just waited for the terrible months to pass? Not I! I only did that for 2 weeks. (just so you know, my favorite Dust bunny is Philbert. he's very defensive. Just don't mention his "little Problem" and you'll get along fine)

Sorry to say i'm typing this in school and should probably stop before i get caught, so i will be back tomorrow to type another entry and comment on your charming blogs of joy that i have neglected so heartlessly.

So see you tomorrow! You better come, or i'll sick my dust bunny on you.

Ya, i went there.

Take that.