Tuesday, May 19, 2009
He's not dead, he's electroenephalographically challenged
Did you know an electroenephalographer is a device used to detect brain waves? Really. You would think they would set a law that states no word may be more than 5 syllables long! I mean, really, what is the point of big words when they are just small words that nobody understands? Like nugatory. You know what nugatory means? it means the same thing as picayune, trivial, or freaking UNIMPORTANT! Which is easier to say/remember? Honestly, their are over 50,000 words in the English language, but think about it. Counting all of those ridiculously humongo jumbo words that nobody can pronounce, you realize that their aren't enough definitions to go around!
Anyways! Like i said, (and yes, i WILL repeat myself. Take that stupid 4th grade English teacher who said redundancy would always make my papers 2nd best!) a lot has happened between now and 6 lifetimes ago. There is way tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
much to put into one post, just like their is way tooooo many o's in my tooooo's. Hehe. I figure the best way to condense 7 lifetimes of stories into one easily read post is by making like condensed soup and squeezing them all into a can and adding a gallon of salt. Since i don't have a gallon of salt at hand (left it in my other pants, silly me) I think i'll will split them up into several posts. It took me all night to come up with that solution. I think it's genius. Yes, that's right, admire the genius-ness. (yes, i just created a new word, take that Oxford Dictionary)
First off, I'm a very clumsy person. We've already covered this, i know, but i feel since clutziness is such an important part of my life, it deserves to be relived. I fall. A lot. I run into things. A lot. I break things (sometimes people). A lot. Knowing this about me, in the two months i didn't post, i attained SIX new scars (one for every lifetime!) I will now tell you some of the stories as to how i got them.
*curtains pull back from stage*
*Stage lights turn on (Awww my retinas!)*
*The audience falls into a hush (Would you morons shut up?!)*
*dramatic tension fills the room(Look! an electoenephalographically challenged fly!)*
Here we go.
First scar: Nearly got ran over by a car while on my bike. While the car was immobile.*car, headlights, AWWW! swerve, Crash, scar* Ok, so the car was still like, 30 feet away. It doesn't hurt to be too careful! I did yell at the car, cause yelling at things that can't understand you is fun and great brain stimulus. The scar i got runs from my ankle to mid calf. AWESOME!
Second Scar: Ice skating. Clumsy. Sharp skates. Ankle. 'nuff said.
Third Scar: Easter Sunday, hiding eggs for little cousins. Look, clever hiding space! I'll just stick it here and BANG! O look, there's a little tree. And the little tree gave me three little scars on my poor little Shoulder! How cute.
That's enough scar stories and enough typing. I've been typing since I got home from school. Stupid Geography. Why o why do places have to be, you know, in PLACES? Just like all those people who went out an made history. I bet they wouldn't have been so keen to change the world if they knew it would only be more work for us future students. How shelfish!
So that's it for now, my beautiful little Unicorns. I have to go watch American Idol. GO ADAM YOU SEXY BEAST!!
I mean, may the best singer win!
Got a scar story? feel free to post it. I need to know i'm not the only terribly uncoordinated person in the world. CLUMSY PEOPLE UNITE!
Let me know i'm not alone.
It's dark in here.
O, maybe i should take off my sunglasses.