Monday, December 29, 2008

NO, I don't know what the fat content of water is, STOP ASKING!

Hey Hey Hey! It's me again and me has stuff to say! Lots of stuff. Soooo muuuch stuff, me has absolutely no idea where to start! First off, HOLY GUACAMOLE ONLY 2 MORE DAYS AND I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TO BLOG TO MY HEARTS CONTENT! Without the risk of being caught and deported to the south east tip of Guam. Why Guam you may ask? I hear they have delicous fruit smoothies.

Now that i'm done being weird...well, weirder than usual, i shall explain the title of my post. As you may or may not have noticed (i mean, who actually reads post titles?) it states "NO, I don't know what the fat content of water is, STOP ASKING!" the reason it says this is my annoying aunt kept following me around on Christmas Eve, saying things like "O dear, do you know how many calories are in this? How about the sodium content of this?"

Yeah, it was annoying as it sounds.

And then her husband decided to lecture me on the audacity of wasting food sinc i insisted i don't like peas. "YOu know, the starving children in China would die to have those peas you refuse to eat? How about those poor kids in Taiwan? And what about the lack of food for wild animals? the more food you waste, the more food we need to take from nature, and the more food we take from nature, the less food for the wild beasts of our land!"

Needless to say, I got fed up (fed up, no pun intended), and retorted with "If you're so worried about the starving children in China, then pack up these peas and sent em to em! and if you loose sleep over the thoughts of starving wild animals, then why don't you pack yourself off to Africa and pay a friendly visit to the cute cuddly lions?"

Ya, i know that was really mean, but sheesh. Despite how it may sound, i actually very rarely get angry. But man, he just has a way of tap dancing on my last nerve that is just so ugh!

and btw, i do care about the starving children in China. I donate money. And i donated 50 cans to our local food drive where i live, so don't go saying i'm some sorta heartless, crude, rapid porcupine! Trust me, rapid porcupines are a lot fiercer than me and are not cuddly!

just trust me on that.

Other than that, my Christmas Eve was actually quite fun! Better than usual. I told y'all about the family problems we had, but for some reason they just weren't as prominent as usual this year. It was nice. Except for the naggy aunts and UGH-YOU-ARE-TAP-DANCING-ON-MY-LAST-NERVE uncles.

So, basic run down of Christmas Eve...

  1. Drive to grandma's house
  2. get out of car
  3. nearly die via falling on ice
  4. go inside of house
  5. wonder why the kitchen is filled with smoke
  6. wonder what that burning smell was
  7. wonder what was burning
  8. grandma just about has panic attack
  9. AWW, MY TURKEY!
  10. Grandma rescues turkey
  11. turkey looks like it has seen better days
  12. dinner
  13. second helping of dinner
  14. third helping..
  15. 4th...
  16. well, it is the hollidays
  17. gather in living room
  18. open presents
  19. do lottery (we each pick a number, when number is called, go pick a present out of a huge pile. Presents range from tea sets, to kitchen gear, to those special little items that no one really knows what the heck they are
  20. WE all barter with one another to exchange gifts
  21. 3 little cousins open presents my cousin Gia brought them
  22. guess what they got?
  23. Marshmallow guns
  24. I hate my cousin
  25. Marshmallow war ensues
  26. I trick em, trap em downstairs, don't release them until they give me their guns
  27. Get the guns, run
  28. hide behing corner
  29. shoot when i hear footsteps
  30. Sorry Grandpa!
  31. get ready to leave
  32. in the car
  33. forgot my phone
  34. run back in
  35. FIRE!!!
  36. Hit with about 8 marshmallows at once
  37. quickly put all my cousins on my hit list, right below Tom Cruise and my science teacher who forced the class to bow to me when i got the extra credit on our report of the history of Earth, who is right below the KFC dude who refused to tell me what were the secret ingredients that made their chicken so irresistable
  38. go look at Christmas lights
  39. go home
  40. and DON'T GO ASLEEP TIL THE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING!

Hey, even teenagers get excited for Christmas.

Now, i'm gonna leave my post at that. I will tell you about Christmas Day next time!

and despite the kind words Natalie! gave me, i still feel bad that i havent commented in awhile, so I just wana say that i truly appreciate you guys who still comment on mine.

Love y'all!

Don't ever change!

Unless I ask you for change for a dollar.

Then you can change.

But only then.

right...well...ya....OOOOO just ONE MORE THING!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

HAPPY KWANZAA!

HAPPY WINTER SOLSTICE!

HAPPY THREE KINGS DAY!

HAPPY CHANAKAH!

OR HANNAKUH

OR CHANNAKUH

OR HANUKAH!

wow, there are almost as many ways to spell chanukah as there are days of it.

btw, i'm a quarter Jew.

Not too shabby.

now bye, and stop reading.

seriously, i've got nothing more to say

except maybe...

BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know what you all are thinking, "What a waste of exclamation points!" and in response i simply say !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so ha.

and HAPPY almost NEW YEARS!


9 comments:

smorgan said...

The way you write your post, it's like you're totally communicating with people.
You say you're about to go...then you say something else...and you do that over and over....

I like that.
Very personal.....
BTW....i do read all your post titles...
and p.s.: Water has fat?????

Outrageous said...

heeelllloo there! first is first and i would like to say. i absoloutley love your point of view so be prepared to see me follow your blog. another thingy.. i just don't know how to pronounce the chpolate chick thingy. not even sure if thats how you spell it. wellllll, comment on my blog. pretty please. hope you do and by the way. you make me chuckle. ha ha.

Allison said...

Someone had too much candy on christams eve...... lol just kidding. My cousins are all teens well most of them are so we just play cards until 1 in the morning. Weird games like nertz and hand and foot. nertz is really hard to do in the begining but fun once when you get the hang of it. Lol so yea im glad you had fun

Cait said...

Thanks so much for the comment. Thank you for taking a look.

What a list you've got going. I hope you have a great new year.

someone said...

Have a great New Year!

Your posts are always so fun to read.

Natalie (: said...

Urgh, you're relatives sound almost more annoying than mine! I would snap if someone kept following me around bugging me about waters calories and starving children in China too. I bet your retort shut your tap dancing uncle right up, haha! But other than that it sounds like you had a great Christmas Eve! That's quite a long list :O

Hahah, I always end up saying bye like a thousand times before I actually go in conversations too ;D Happy 2009 and I hope you have a great new year!

smorgan said...

Happy New Year!!!
Wanted to email you to greet you a happy new year...but that's sort of impossible...
ROCK ON this new year anyways!!!

Stella said...

Happy 2009! You're free now, right? Free to blog! WOO! Well, it's January 1st and I don't see any new posts so maybe you partied too hard last night and are now feeling the after-affects? Who knows. I personally think an army of hippos has taken you hostage because you make them giggle so hard. That's what I would do if I was a hipppo. Rock on, and happy new year and freeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom!

Rafé said...

haha, another good one, as always

the whole convo with your uncle was very interesting...very close to something I would say